Work It Out
Two months ago to the day, I embarked on a new adventure with fitness.
A 10-week journey of working with a trainer.
I've never been much of an athlete. Or so I thought. I found that I do have some athleticism in me. But it did push me.
I had my "weigh-in" today and I'm not going to lie, I was a little disappointed.
I've only lost two pounds and haven't lost much off of my arms, legs, etc.
I didn't go in wanting to lose weight - that wasn't my goal. I did want to get fit. To feel better - mentally, spiritually, physically. Instead of constantly feeling tired or worn out, I wanted to build my strength and have more endurance. And I did that.
This is what I wrote in a note on my phone a couple days after my first session:
My heart is pounding.
I can feel my muscles tightening.
One more push-up. One more burpee.
One step closer to a healthier lifestyle.
One that I've picked. A path that I have chosen. No one is forcing me. It isn't even something my doctor has told me I needed.
I just stopped making excuses and I did it.
I decided to get a trainer and join a gym.
Something I've talked about for awhile, but wasted time and never did anything about.
I've been tired out, mentally exhausted and run down.
And I was tired of feeling that way.
I want to run without stopping.
I want to get through a day without feeling so drained and crashing around 3.
I want to have more energy.
I want to laugh more.
I want to eat better.
I want to go after the life I was designed to live.
I want to say yes to more opportunities instead of sitting on the sidelines.
I want to handle my stress better and not be worried as much.
Friday night was my first session.
My trainer, filling in for his wife, asking what my relationship with fitness has been.
I thought back and see that it was really non-existent. I was never athletic. I played basketball for a year in fourth grade, but I was the creative one. The artistic one. I sang, I liked to act.
I didn't go anywhere near sports, except for recess, bike riding and rollerblading.
When I got to high school, I started weight training and saw a change as I dropped my "baby weight." People seemed to notice me. I gave up soda and cut back on certain things and tried to work activities into my schedule more, but I didn't make it a lifestyle. It was usually just when convenient for me.
This time, it's different. This time it's a different kind of intentionality. If I'm paying money into it, you bet your bottom dollar, I will follow through with this.
I worked hard, I did push-ups, burpees and other things I don't remember the names of.
And then, at the end of the session, I felt nauseous and threw up in the back of the gym. Don't worry, it was outside.
I came back in and my trainer said he was proud of me. To wear that like a badge of honor, because I came back in and finished. I killed it. There are very few things that I will brag on myself about. Actually, I don't know that I ever really have. But, last night, in that moment, all I could feel was proud. Proud that I'd even made the jump to get into fitness and said yes to the first session. Proud that I'd not only understood the exercises I was doing, but was excelling at them.
Earlier in our session, he'd asked if I thought of myself as intelligent, because he took me as very studious. I listened and followed directions closely. He also told me that couldn't believe I hadn't been an athlete, because if I had pursued it earlier on, I would've excelled. I couldn't believe it. Because I've always just kind of written it off and said I wasn't athletic or coordinated enough.
I think it's easy as kids to be labeled as one thing or another. Or to not be as good as something and think it'll be that way for life.
Looking back at these last 10 weeks, I got out of it what I wanted. But, did I put in as much time as I should have? No. Did I always eat like I should have? No. It was a start. And this next round, I should have no excuses, because I have all the tools that I need and I have the discipline. I just need to make time and stop making excuses. I'm great at excuses, but where is that going to get me?
It has since helped me see areas of my life I need to work on, not just within the fitness aspect of my life. I've seen growth and changes in the way I approach work, friendships and personal career and life goals I have. If you are committed to something, if you are disciplined with something, you can make it happen. It's time to kick it up to the next notch as I start this next phase. It's GO TIME.
~Shelby