Things I Learned This Spring
Spring is always a busy time for me since I work at a university and that is our prime time to shine with commencements and ceremonies galore.
This Spring was especially busy with various work events, trying to fill my own social calendar with friend dates, plan a trip to Europe, write more, finalize projects, take care of myself, work out...You get the idea.
There were some really heavy days of working through anxiety and depression. But, there were some also really great moments with friends that I will treasure forever. And there were a few breakthrough moments where I felt really proud of myself for making it this far.
Ups and downs, ebbs and flows...Seems like that has been my life motto lately. I guess most 20-somethings can say the same thing.
I feel like a lot happened in between:
I signed up for Bumble -- Who am I?? (and it lasted about a week or two. I tried, right?)
I took a break from social media for lent, but somehow still spent just as much time on my phone. Go figure!
I finalized a personal project I've been working on and talking about for quite some time. I was proud of myself for finishing.
I decided that I'm going to move out with one of my best friends later this summer! Sometimes adulting is fun.
I spent a lot of time with friends for coffee and dinner dates. MY FAVE. They get me.
I saw Justin Timberlake, Celine Dion and Carrie Underwood in concert - all phenomenal shows and had the time of my life.
I made time for more fun with trips to the beach, to see the poppies and Disneyland with a few of my favorite people (my parents and my best friend).
I got my haircut and it made me feel like a new person, even if only for a minute.
I survived....
Lessons Learned:
You have to be your own advocate. No one else is going to fight your battles for you. SPEAK UP. (I'm still working on this one from time to time).
Find little things in your day that make your soul happy. The days are long and hard, but sometimes just catching up with a friend or sitting down to read a book or journal your thoughts is enough to keep you going. It makes you focus on what you do have.
While social media can be used for good, I found how much I can actually get done when I'm not on it. I can't encourage a social media break enough.
You HAVE to let people know when you're struggling. It's not comfortable and it isn't easy, but when you invite others into your struggles, it breaks the darkness.
Celebrate YOU. There is only one of you and that is something to be cherished every single day, regardless of what the world is telling you or those that you come in contact with. Stand firm in the things that make you unique.
Breakfast dates make everything better. There's something about starting your day with good friends that can pull you out of any funk.
Disneyland really can make you feel like a kid again. Trips with your best friend are everything.
Spend more time with the people who make you laugh and get out of your head. Don't take life so seriously.
The bad days never last forever, so don't get too hung up on them. Just keep going and pushing through. On the flip side of that, you will have other days that you wish would last forever and they don't either.
Familiarity can get you stuck in your comfort zone, but something you need for awhile before you figure out what's next. It's like a holding place until the next chapter. So hold onto the people and places that you can for the time being and see where it takes you. One of these days, it won't be like this and even when it's rough, years from now you'll look back on these moments and smile.
People are people and will let you down. Getting frustrated with them only upsets you more. Do what you can and let go of the rest. Keep being you.
When your body tells you to rest, LISTEN TO IT. Don't do anything else or try to push time along.
If you need to take medicine for your health, it's okay. Don't listen to people who tell you it isn't. Do what feels right for you and what your doctor recommends.
I have to believe that the harder I have to fight and the harder the days are that something BEAUTIFUL is just around the corner.
Sometimes it's not so much about getting the thing you apply for or wish on shooting stars for. It's simply about doing the thing or working towards a large goal...Taking the chance at all.
Let people know how you feel about them. I try to wear my heart on my sleeve for the most part (sometimes that's not always so great). But, I never want people to second guess how I felt about them - friends or family.
Don't feel like you need to do something just because everyone else is doing it (like dating). Everyone has their own timeline and it's okay that yours doesn't look the same as your sister or best friend.
Ask people you admire to lunch, or even shadow them at their job if the opportunity arises. You never know when a friendship or a connection will blossom through that.
When a door is closed - instead of asking 'why?' I want to start asking 'what does this make possible?' That really changes the perspective of everything.
The right people will fight to be in your life. They will be by your side when they don't agree with you, when you're at your lowest and simply just no fun to be around. They will love you through all of it. You should never have to beg someone to be in your life. Let them go and it they're meant to be there, they will be. Sometimes it requires space and other times, it's a sign to move on. You learn quickly which is which.
What a ride it's been. Here's to the summer months - a trip to Europe, time with friends, a space for reflecting and learning, reading more, catching up on Netflix and other movies. Here's to freeing my soul and making time for the things that matter, letting the negativity bounce off.
That's all for now,
Shelby